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Commentary: Dennis Cobb
April 2000
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He hopes to someday set up a workshop designed to address the needs of society's delinquent and troubled youth. Through his writing and work, he feels that he can make a difference. Mr. Cobb has shown that he has a talent for writing and he encourages everyone to write and make a difference in someone's life.
THE SUN BEGINS TO SET just west of me in its splashing colors of yellow and orange off the clouds that cast down shadows as the sun seems to fall from the sky. From my cell I look out the window and survey a patch of grass where some birds have gathered to forage for food. They do not notice me, nor even care that I silently intrude upon their dance for survival. Furthermore, it matters not to them where they have chosen to feed. The prison fences or its walls pose no threat in determining their needs being met.
The high gun tower may as well be a tree, for all they know. Still, on they go, scouring the blades of grass and rubble, pecking here and pecking there.
What is the difference between them and me? Is it their ever-present vigilance while striving to survive? Or just that they are able to ignore and free themselves of worry as to where they meet their needs, so long as they are met?
If I were to make a sound this instant, they would fly away; seeking another spot possibly returning to this one another day. I guess they accept my dominant presence and rather than combat it risking injury, capture, or death, they simply fly away and remain free.
But I am governed daily by more than base instincts of fear and hunger or thirst. I have emotional needs that are equally important to my survival. Love, understanding, attention, anger, sadness and - often times - acceptance. All these elements have their place in my life.
In my search for meaning and happiness, I have come to discover that allowing another to sway or distort my course of direction and purpose has resulted in choices that have caused others to rule over me. Losing sight of my goals, my purpose in life meant not understanding my needs or how to meet them. On the contrary, by schooling those emotions that navigated me to bad decisions, I can draw forth an analogy like unto the growth of a tree. When the winds blow, I would bend, not break, consequently completing my design to mature straight and tall.
But I did not school my feelings, nor did I allow myself to bend. And when the wind blew, I broke; never fulfilling my goals, purposes, or plans. The birds that would have nested with their young in my branches have flown to another. In failing to meet my needs and reach my goals, I have driven others that I would have had close to me, away. Now I am alone.
It is later in the evening, the clouds have gone and they no longer reflect the light from the sun, which sets far west of me. The cold foreboding masses I feel are the cities east of me. The birds have all flown and are nested safely, having met their needs pecking here and pecking there. They remain free to forage another day where they will. And I shall watch from the window that those who rule over me have given. I will ponder. I will learn. Continuing my search, I acquire a little more knowledge and am one step closer to my goals, my purposes, and plans. For now, I will retire and lay quietly upon this prison bed; understanding more clearly the difference between them and me.
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