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Commentary: The Anguish of Not Knowing
by Carol Watson
April 2000
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In her role as public education coordinator for MCM, Ms. Watson has developed prevention programs for children from age three through high school, as well as a program for adults.
ON JANUARY 14, 1983 my whole world changed. That was the day my beautiful, tow-headed, two-year-old son was abducted by my ex-husband. That day the world became a different place. I cried everyday of the 13 months he was gone. I was frustrated by the lack of help from law enforcement and the legal system in general, but I was truly blessed by the support I had from family and friends. I am one of the lucky ones; my son was found and came home.
During the year that he was gone, I was a part of a group that founded Missing Children Minnesota, a non-profit organization that advocates for families of missing children and provides prevention education. I volunteered to answer the phone; that's all I ever volunteered to do, but little by little I was persuaded to take on more and more responsibility. I kept waiting for someone more qualified to come along and take over. In 1987 I finally agreed to take the title of executive director, I realized I had become that someone.
The parents that come to us for help today are just as desperate as I was 16 years ago. They come from all segments of society - urban, suburban and rural, wealthy to welfare class, laborers to doctors. Their children have runaway from home, been abducted by an angry parent or, in a handful of cases, they simply vanished; fallen prey to molesters. The one single thing these mothers and fathers have in common is the fear and anguish of not knowing where their child is. Missing Children Minnesota offers them very real hope. Eighty to 90 percent of the children we help to look for are found.
Over the 16 years I have devoted to this cause I have seen the huge difference technology has made. It used to take us 24 hours to prepare and print a poster of a missing child. Now it takes about 20 minutes. We used to depend on the overnight package services to get us photos of children in greater Minnesota now we receive them in seconds via e-mail. Computers, fax machines and, most of all, the Internet have eliminated the barrier of distance for families who need help, but they have also brought child molesters and abductors closer to their potential victims through e=mail and chat rooms online.
My son was missing for 13 months and that year changed my life in ways I never expected. I have had the opportunity to develop personal-safety programs for children from preschool through high school and I have written and published two books based on them. Helping other families going through this crisis has become my life's work and while I would give anything to take away the pain and trauma that experience brought to my family and friends, I wouldn't trade my job for any other. We specialize in happy endings.
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