MPR: A Reporter's Notebook: "I get it

A Reporter's Notebook: "I get it - at least a bit"
By Lynette Nyman
October, 2000
Part of the MPR project One Family, Two Countries

It never occurred to me to report on adoption even though I'm adopted.

Lynette Nyman
Lynette Nyman has been a reporter with Minnesota Public Radio since 1997. She has won the Unity Award in Media for her series, This is Home. She covers issues facing new immigrants and ethnic communities. She can be reached at lnyman@mpr.org.

It's something that's been a part of me since birth and something I've always known. So I grew up in a family with my mom and dad, while creating fantasies about my real parents. It was just an everyday part of who I was and not very interesting.

Once in awhile people would ask why I had blonde hair while my mother's was black and my sister's was red? We made up stories. "Just tell them your grandfather had red hair," my mother instructed my sister, who was adopted too. That's what we did; sometimes tell the truth, other times fib a little. Once some folks knew, they'd usually want more details.

As an adult, people have asked me the most questions as if I'm on firm terrain and able to provide the answers. Knowing that, I still make a choice about keeping it simple or making it complicated. When I reveal that I searched for - and found — my birth parents, people become intrigued. They're always surprised to learn how easy it was. With one phone call I reconnected with my birth mother. A few more calls and a few years later, I talked with my birth father on the telephone. I even went with him to the Louisiana bayou country and met my Cajun relatives.

I always knew I would search. If I hadn't, I'd still be creating those fantasies and wondering about my birth parents. It wasn't painless for my mother. She felt betrayed and feared I'd choose my birth mother over her. That didn't happen, but now that I've been friends with my birth mother for over a decade, there have been times when I've wondered how I might be different if she'd kept me.

The best thing about doing this series on adoption is that I learned that there are thousands of adopted children who share a similar experience. Most importantly, I talked to adoptive parents and heard their stories about wanting families so badly they'd take on incredible challenges to have children. If my mom were still alive, I might say I get it - at least a bit.

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