1)How do you want to be identified?
2)How old are you?
I'll be 20 in a few days (May 8th)
3)When did you decide to create a Web site?
Beginning of this year. I'm really not sure. I think it was January. I was flipping through the channels on TV and my eye caught on an Oprah special dealing with the 'pro-ana underworld'. I never knew it existed till then and felt very alone. So I went looking for different sites. My profession is web mastering and design so I decided to make a site of my own to help other 'Anas' out there not feel alone either.
4)Who is it for?
Other people who have anorexia and choose to keep it as a lifestyle. Also, for those who are open minded in wanting to know what we are all about.
5)Do you think you have an eating disorder?
Yes. The definition of an eating disorder applies to me but I don't like the word 'disorder'. I can recover if I wanted. This is something I love, how I choose to live my life. I am creating order in my life. Controlling something. I don't view it as a 'disorder'.
6) If so, have you told anyone about it?
A couple close friends and my husband. Those who would take the time to understand what I feel and why instead of immediatly judging me and saying that I'm just killing myself.
7)Have you tried to get help? If so, what kind of help?
When my husband and I were dating I told him all the facts about my life. He was understanding yet worried. I knew I couldn't lose him so I tried to recover and gained quite a bit of weight. I went back to this lifestyle after we were married.
8) If not, why don't you get help?
I have never gone for professional help. I wont. I don't think I could live my life without the control I now have.
9) How would you describe your lifestyle? Your goals?
Having control over something in this uncontrollable world. Finally having something all my own and no one can say anything about it. Doing something for me. It's mainly about the control, at least for me. My goals are basically to be the thinnest person when I enter a room. To be noticed and stand out. Personally, I would like to be 99 lbs or be as thin as I can without killing myself.
10) Is it safe?
Probably not. I mean, I have many physical problems. My digestive system doesn't always want to work. I get sick oftan and get hurt easily. I also suffer horrible migranes. For a time I was bullemic as well so my teeth are not as strong as they once were. However, I don't want to die. I do take vitamins and do what I can other than eating, to stay healthy. I don't think I am at the point of this being fatal for me. I can handle a few health issues. It's worth it.
11)How long have you made this your lifestyle choice?
I first became anorexic when I was 12 or 13. My dad was diagnosed with cancer. I had no control, no way to help him and I was lost. I found a way to finally control something. My body.
12) What's more important: being thin or being healthy?
Thin. I will sacrifice my health for my goals. As long as I can still stand on my own two feet then I will do anything to be as thin as possible.
13)Are you happy with your lifestyle choice?
Most of the time. Being hungry does suck and it hurts. However it's empowering at the same time to be able to feel this pain and still continue.
We are not looking to kill ourselves. Our Web sites are not aimed at drawing in innocent girls to kill themselves. We want control, power and something all our own.
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