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Your views of marriage
May 19, 2004

To uncover views on marriage, we asked visitors to our Web site to submit their perspectives. Below is a sample of those letters. New submissions are added as they come in.

Give us your thoughts on what the institution of marriage means to you.

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Marriage to me signifies the creation of a family group. Traditionally it has been the only way a family group could receive certain benefits, such as shared health insurance and legal rights. This sadly discriminates against many people who want to be a family, not only gay couples but also other alternate groups.

For instance, two single mothers could form a combined family -- with one mother working and the other caring for the children. Young singles (or elder singles) could form temporary family groups that help them share the cost of living.

I realize many people believe marriage to be a religious event, governed by individual religious rules. If we go by that, then I think we must strip all rights from the marriage union and instead have all family groups apply for a "family union contract," which would have to be renewed every few years. A legal family contract would then guarantee the civil rights that married couples now take for granted.

If you want to get married you go to a church. If you want legal, civil rights, you pay a fee in a courthouse and get a family contract. Hey, maybe we could help balance that budget with increased fee income.

Keep church and state separate! It's the only thing that keeps us from falling back into that tribal pit of despair that rules much of the Middle East and Africa. -- Sandy Hokanson, Pine Island, Minn.

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Marriage ideally occurs when two individuals know each other, respect and cherish each other, and love each other as human beings. Marriages are partnerships of compassion, love and communication. When children come into a marriage new factors come in to play. The adults in the marriage must be certain to demonstrate their solidarity to their children since they are the foundation of the children's lives.

Flexibility is key to having a successful marriage as is loyalty between partners. Fun is a key element throughout the marriage. -- Wendy Williams, Irvine, CA

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Marriage is a relationship between two people who promise to love and care for each other for life. As the parent of Gay children, I have learned from my relationship with them and their partners that the relationship is the same whether, same sex or heterosexual.

It's about loving, caring, responsible people living lives that are a credit to their relationship and to the community.

It's about giving all people equal rights in life, and an opportunity to live their lives without harassment . --Sandra Reuther, Breezy Point, Minn.

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Marriage is a bond between two people, that will form as one, that produces the legal means of producing a family.

In Loving v. Virginia, the Supreme Court of the United States, declared, that a marriage is a fundamental right of a person to marry a person of their choice, and should be given equal protection of the laws of this nation. Our society is still a maturing nation that has changed over the years, to a form of acceptance. To measure this in media terms, society has allowed shows to reflect the trend of present day America acceptances. The civil right issues of what is right for America is a process of social change. This nation of maturing adults will always change and accept past hidden lives. The institution of marriage as we know it will change, because of society's ability to accept social changes.

In closing, society acceptance of "civil unions" as marriage is the same as marriage, where two people share a common bond with all of the benefits of marriages, so why call it something else when it has the meaning and values of what is commonly known as the "institution of marriage." --Lawrence D. Pierce, Austin, TX

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I look today and see that my government counts me as unequal to my heterosexual sisters and brothers. My government denies me of wearing a military stripe; my government sees nothing wrong in denying me employment based on who I love; my government pushes legislation to enshrine discrimination against me.

I look five years from now and see a workplace that is legislatively justified in denying my family health coverage. If the state or federal constitutions refuse to recognize my family, why should my co-workers?

I look ten years from now and see the family I grew up with, having difficulty recognizing my spouse as part of our family. Civil marriage (and, yes, Church marriage) separates "girlfriend" from "wife."

I look twenty years from now and see my own budding family, faced with fighting for and carrying documentation proving our legal relationships to each other. I see my younger sister with a family, too. Her parentage will never be questioned in an Emergency Room.

I look fifty years from now and see that I -- like those who came before me -- could be forced to sell our home to pay for my wife's healthcare.

I look to the future and am scared.

I am a good woman. My parents raised me with values: marriage and family are paramount to me. As such, I deserve equal treatment under the law. Equality is a right we all deserve. --C.S., Minneapolis, Minn.

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Marriage is the intimate union of a man and woman. This sacred union should be honored and respected by all. God created man and woman to partner with him in the creation of new life, to ensure the protection and moral training of children.

It is inevitable that with the attack on the Ten Commandments the human race will lose its moral rudder. With no authority to guide us where will we all end up? I find the attack on religious freedom by our supreme court judges who are afraid to defend our laws to be outrageous. We can lay this disaster at their feet. They aren't appointed to please the citizens but to protect the majority from the misguided citizens who can make the most noise.

We (our civilization) will live to regret these ridiculous ideas. -- A.T., LaCrosse, WI

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