Audio Rachel's school diary (story audio) Photos Rachel Roe Rachel at the computer Getting art supplies View full slideshow (6 images) More from MPR Other Duluth home schoolers (04/15/2004) Resources Web page for Harbor City International School Respond to this story Talk about this story in the MPR News Forum Submit a commentary Help us cover this story

	E-mail this page			Print this page

Rachel's school diary
by Stephanie Hemphill, Minnesota Public Radio
December 23, 2004

At fourteen, Rachel Roe decided to attend a small Duluth charter school, after being home schooled her entire life. (MPR Photo/Stephanie Hemphill)

For as long as Rachel Roe can remember, she's gone to school at home, getting her lessons from her mother and reading her Bible. This year she decided to try going to high school. Rachel is fourteen years old, and for the first time she's carrying a backpack, eating in a lunchroom, and dealing with the usual stresses of social life in high school, including who's popular and who's not. She attends a small charter school in Duluth. We wondered how high school would look through the eyes of a new-comer. So we asked Rachel to keep a diary. She recorded her first entry a few days before school started. Late one night, she curled up on her bed to collect her thoughts.

Duluth, Minn. — My name is Rachel Adela Roe. I'm fourteen -- almost fifteen years old -- and I'll be going to Harbor City International School in Duluth starting next week. I'm looking forward to socializing with other kids, but it's a little nerve-wracking to be facing the whole, "What planet are you from?" kind of attitude. So I'm a little nervous.

	Rachel at the computer

One thing I'll keep in mind is the Bible verse Isaiah 41:10. It goes like this: "Fear thou not, for I am with thee. Be not dismayed, for I am thy God. I will strengthen thee; yea I will help thee; yea I will uphold thee with the right hand of my righteousness." And that is the verse I'm going into school believing that that promise will be kept. That's pretty much all I wanted to say for tonight. Over and out.

Well, I've just come back from my first day of school. It was exhausting! It was kind of odd having to go from place to place in crowded hallways. It's definitely a transition, but I think it'll be good. It was nice because we had a fairly long lunch period, and I was sitting, reading my Bible, and a couple of kids from my base camp came over and sat with me, and one of my friends who I knew before sat with me. So that was kind of cool.

	Getting art supplies

The whole social thing is very different than I expected. One minute the popular people like you, and the next minute they're screaming at you. It doesn't bother me, because I don't hang out with them, so I don't care. But the social pressures are very different. I mean, I have my little group of friends, and that's that. And I have aquaintances and people I talk to, and then there's the popular crowd who don't care about their grades and stuff. I never realized how many people there are who don't care about their grades.

It's Wednesday, September 15th. This morning we all went to school a couple of hours early, and we had a rally, called "See you at the Pole." All the Christian students gather around the flag pole and pray for their school, their city, their state, and the nation. We had about seven students including myself, which totally was awesome. I guess there's about fifteen Christian students at Harbor City school. So I didn't learn much today but I got to pray as I went into each class, so it was really awesome. Everything we did was so focused on God, and that's how I want every day to be.

	Art class

A lot of students don't make it plain that they're Christians; they just blend in. I prefer to make a bit more of a stand. It's definitely part of my identity. A lot of people don't like it that I'm as "religious" as I am. But there's a song called "Jesus Freak," that talks about Jesus being your best friend, and to me just because my best friend wasn't popular, I wouldn't not talk to that person at school.

It's September 20th, and I'm kind of ticked off at the moment. I was in the computer lab doing research for my project, and a guy I'd met the third day of school tapped me on the shoulder and started annoying me. He makes me laugh easily, but I don't know why. And one of his friends said, "Stop flirting with her and let's work on the project." And I was like, "Give me a break, he's not flirting with me." And he was like, "When he's making you laugh, he's flirting with you." But it's not like that. I mean, give me a break. I'm fourteen, I'm not about to date, I'm not going to be seriously involved. That's not the way I like to be.

Prayer group was cool this morning, and school was of course just school. I need to clean my room; I don't feel good; and I really don't feel good about myself. I just spend a half hour squeezing pimples, and that's not going to make a girl feel good about herself. I'm having self esteem issues right now, like usual. There are very few occasions when I feel semi-confident about way I look, and I'm not photogenic. And so when I see a picture of me, which I saw outside of Spanish class today, I don't like it. I like school overall compared to home schooling, especially since there's less mirrors around, but there's too many mirrors in the girls' bathroom. Anyway, over and out.

	Studying

I would definitely stay in school. I have the choice; technically I could come home next year if I wanted to. But I definitely like school better than being home schooled. I'm a little more of a normal kid and I like that. I never was fully normal; I started reading Tennyson when I was ten - that's not normal! And I am slightly romantically attached. We're just friends, I should say, and will be for a very long time. For my parents' standards of dating and for mine, I would definitely not date now. My attitude toward the world hasn't changed all that much, except for the fact that it doesn't seem quite as large anymore, whereas in home school I was so sheltered and so much in my own little shell that I never really saw any of the world. And now I see it every day in the kids' attitudes. No, I guess my attitude hasn't really changed that much.

---

Rachel Roe says she'll stay in school at least through next year. She plans to go to college. Her dream is to combine two things that mean a lot to her - she wants to become a pilot, and fly missionaries to their posts around the world.

Please select the audio link in the upper right section of this page to hear the entire diary.

News Headlines

Related Subjects