|
Carol
Greenwood
A
Personal Journal Reflecting On Aging
June 19 | June 21
June
19: The Importance of Journal Writing
Interesting exercise this journal writing. For a number of years I had thought about journaling but never succeeded in anything consistent or, for that matter, satisfying until a very difficult time in my life about 10 years ago. I needed to keep track of myself and to keep aware of my thoughts and feelings.
A friend recommended Christina Baldwin's book Life's Companion,
and the very name felt comforting so I made a commitment
to write a least five times a week for 30 days.
I was surprised how, in a few days of writing, I actually
looked forward to the time every morning with my life's companion.
This time together with myself taught me to be my best friend—validation
in a powerful way. My journal was more rambling than I liked
but putting judgment aside, I plodded along any old way until
my thoughts were less scattered.
I journaled for about five years and then when my life became busier, I started neglecting my schedule and the time spent on writing. Until this occasion with MPR, I didn't realize how much I missed this time aside.
I was visiting with a friend yesterday and we talked about reading old journals and what to do about the ones we wrote. I believe that is a very individual choice and I haven't fully decided what to do with mine, but she thought that it might be a good idea if her great grandchildren could read about her life and I agree. They should read about her life, but I'm not so sure about my great grandchildren reading about my life during such a traumatic time.
If I had my life to live over, the first thing I would do would be to stress how very, very important expressing our thoughts and feelings are. And that we must give the judge a long vacation, maybe permanently, because we have better things to do than be perfect.
I also enjoyed writing longhand as I could be anyplace, not
just in front of this machine. You might have guessed by now
that this computer and I are not best friends, except for
the spell-check genie. This, I love.
June
21: Today is A Great Day
Inch by inch life's a cinch
Yard by yard life's hard.
Lately some days are too full of yesterday's stuff and I believe
it's because I've been rummaging around in the past comparing
what it was like then compared to what it is like today.
I really like today best. Not that I didn't like yesterday
but that is gone with all its promises and guilt for things
left undone. Today I can sit and think or just sit. Today
I can smell the lilacs and see the last tulips fading away.
I can watch the loon disappear under the water and suddenly
appear again and hear his mournful call. I watched a chipmunk
finally figure out how to get into the birdfeeder. I could
tell he was very proud of himself with his puffed up cheeks.
Today I heard from my sister via email and I answered her
back, proud of myself for being prompt in my reply.
Today I helped Vacation Bible School make a lion's den out
of a huge box I'd been saving for something special.
Today is a great day and I'm glad to be here.
When I stay in today, I'm present every moment for everything
that is happening. When I go back to yesterday, I'm missing
the present so tomorrow will be a mixed review of what I missed
today.
There are a lot of things I do not do today that I used to
do quite easily. Like going for walks over rough terrain,
mowing the grass, changing the storm windows and dancing all
night. I do not miss those things. I do not hear as well,
see as sharply or think as clearly. I do miss those things.
Today I have the time to enjoy the many little things that
I missed yesterday like seeing the northern lights, having
the biggest bleeding heart plant ever, birding on the Gunflint
Trail, and hearing well enough to distinguish the crow from
the blue jay. Seems like today has many pleasures when I look
for them inch by inch.
Journal
Home | Aging Gracefully
Home
| 
© 2025 | Home : Terms of Use : Your Privacy Rights