MPR: Aging Gracefully - An Individual Perspective

June 10: The Importance of Church
A nice quiet Sunday. Going to church on Sunday morning and sitting in a pew with six friends is a great highlight of each Sunday. A bunch of us young, oldster, single women are part of a Saturday morning singles breakfast club that meets once a month—we just started saying look for us in pew six. It has been kind of a joke and when we volunteer to do things we call ourselves the Pew Sixers.

Church has always been important to me and it was a way, 22 years ago when I moved from St. Paul to Grand Marais, to meet people and adjust to a new community. For the last several years, we have had great ministers and that has added to Sunday mornings. A few years ago we started Wednesday evening services (more contemporary—really contemporary for Lutherans) and prior to the service we have dinner. Again, many of us singles enjoy the service and the dinner with others.

I knew that when I was getting close to retirement that I had to make friends that weren't work-related. I started the breakfast club as part of our church outreach, and the benefit is I have made great friends. This really has been a blessing for me, as too much of my life had focused for many years around my job, and prior to that family and job.

I really wish my children were more involved with church, but I had the philosophy that one shouldn't force them. Hopefully, as they age they will see the benefits as I have. I think they are spiritual people, just aren't involved in organized church. Four of the grandchildren will come in a couple of weeks for Bible School—this will be the third year—and I love it. They get to have a great experience and I get to enjoy their company without parents.

The minister spoke of our Great Lake and also the wonderful wilderness. I moved here because of that and many times I take it for granted as it is right out in front of me! I took time today to really take a look at Lake Superior and reminded myself that I have to take more time to do this. I missed my weekend hike as the co-hiker was out of town for the weekend.

Once I get through this crazy June I need to take more time to relax. I do need to remind myself regularly. And that swing out front is a great place to read a book and listen to the waves.

June 11: Handing Down Memories
I am bushed! Today was the first preparation day for the church rummage sale that I chair once a year. We received as much stuff the first day as we usually get the whole sale. The good news is that a great crew of volunteers showed up and we accomplished a lot! The bad news is that I ache all over after being on my feet for 12 hours. Hey, I used to be able to do that in my younger years!

Much of the stuff came from an estate sale of a lovely couple from our church who recently passed away. I believe she was almost 90 or so. I used to sit behind her in church and always loved the way she pulled her hair back and had beautiful things to hold it. She always dressed with great pizzazz (sp.? Spelling has never been my strong point and I am too tired to look it up). She and her husband died within a short time of each other. She taught Sunday school to many of my children—when they went—and they were always fond of her. She always commented on how well behaved my children were and how great it was to see them all in church every Sunday.

I think she liked me and them so well that she didn't always realize that they weren't there. Well, she was always a very positive person and always had nice things to say to me and my children. She and her husband were such role models for others in the church. It was sad for some of us, and especially for her daughter-in-law, to see all her things sold—an end of an era.

As I do these sales I am more motivated to give my children and grandchildren some of the special things from my family now, when I am still here to see if they enjoy the items. Rather than buy lots of gifts, I put things together from my and their past for holidays and special occasions. My rule of thumb is that if I see them use and enjoy the items, they get more. Some of my more roving children aren't ready to cart things around—somehow not much stuff fits in a canoe or in a VW van.

I am getting better at parting with things also. Many of my treasures have special meaning to me, such as items that were used in my family at holidays. Speaking of that, I never thought my kids would ever like fruit soup, but now it is a request for Christmas—and, of course, they love the fudge. The never did get to like lutefisk (but neither did I)..

It is nice to now be entertained by them at holidays and it is wonderful to kick back and enjoy! Memories and traditions are so important to hand down—maybe more valuable than things. But then, things can stimulate the memories.

Maybe that's one of the fun things about working the rummage sale, as we all chat and have stories about things we see. Sometimes it is a guessing game as to what something is—as one person said it is just like Christmas, opening up the boxes to see what gems we will find. I guess there is more to the sale than making money, but I must remember to not buy too much!

Well I must go to bed as I have to take my friend Emily to Duluth tomorrow for many medical appointments. I will share that experience tomorrow.

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