MPR: Aging Gracefully - An Individual Perspective

June 12: Shared Intimacies
When you live in Grand Marais the closest major medical facilities are in Duluth, 110 miles away (on a mostly crummy highway). This time of year there is lots of traffic and lots of road repairs going on, which we do need! I journeyed there with a friend who needed to meet with four different specialists today regarding breast cancer. I made her go with me to get a mammogram a few weeks ago—I was the fortunate one who had no problems. She, on the other hand, had to go for a biopsy and the doctor removed a lump that was cancerous. With both of us having children who live elsewhere, this has been a journey for the both of us. I drive as she doesn't feel strong enough to go alone, and wants the extra set of ears as we deal with each specialist and the maze of medical care. We have had great experiences with the medical practitioners, some not so great, and some actually humorous. If you can't laugh you will go under—and sometimes the humor may get a little black!

I really want to be there for her as she truly is a great friend, and I would want someone to go with me if I were in the same position. We found out today that by the end of all of this we will have made many trips and I suggested we make a game of seeing how many different restaurants we can try in the process. So far we have managed only the medical facilities' eateries—but then, they are cheap, and the food not so bad when you are very hungry.

This may seem strange, but in some ways I feel privileged to be a part of this medical journey—that I have a friend who trusts me to be by her side. So far there have been more laughs than tears—she has already made up her mind to have surgery and not "fool around"; somehow at 65 breasts don't seem that important anymore. (She should probably be doing the journaling, as she is a far greater writer than I.)

It is amazing how driving up and down the "Shore" goes faster with a friend, and the amount of sharing and intimacy that happens. I used to travel the Shore with a co-worker to a lot of training and meetings; we, too, became close friends and because she still is working, we both miss the experience.

Even traveling with children and grandchildren, more discussions happen while driving than at any other time. One of my favorites is when my then five-year-old granddaughter was telling me what a wonderful cook, person, etc,. etc. I was. I asked her what had brought all this on, and she said, "If you don't say nice things, you get a time-out and I don't want that!"

The good news is that if one has an annual mammogram and the cancer is detected early, and appropriate medical care is secured, there is a good chance for many years ahead of friendship, laughing, and traveling to places other than for medical care. We are fortunate to live in this day and age where all this is available—now, if it was only a little closer—but than we would miss the world-changing discussions we have and the laughs about what did and didn't happen.

Enough of this rambling I must get rest for another day of working at the rummage sale.

June 13: Emotionally Recharged
Last night I just couldn't journal—I found myself physically and emotionally drained. This aging process really takes a hold on the body when one is doing things that one is not used to—that is, being on one's feet all day. I also think the idea of being out of my routine of doing morning exercises takes its toll. I never thought in my youth of doing exercises; now I know: no regular exercise, one better not eat. Not really that harsh, but that is the way it feels. One's body and mind becomes addicted to exercise (not that I overdo—just enough to keep me limber and allowed to eat those cookies that just hop in one's hands and beg to be eaten).

Emotionally I just get so frustrated with people who I feel treat others unfairly or unjustly—with children who do not take proper care of their elderly parents and / or do not make good arrangements for them. Or with my own children, whom I still worry about in their thirties who make decisions that make me worry about them. All of these put me on overload yesterday. And I know that none of these things I can change, but they still eat at me and I wish I had a magic wand to change them. I can only change the way I react to these things, and wait to be there when and if things collapse and I am needed. Guess that old control factor gets in the way.

There was some good news. I have started the GateKeeper Program in Cook County. This is a program that involves giving posters and information to businesses about how to report concerns about elderly or handicapped individuals who they might have regular contact with. A businessperson did report a concern, and that is what it is all about—keeping an eye on others and reporting concerns so the proper people can be informed or we as community members can do outreach.

My church has a parish nurse; this is a great program. Their role is not to do nursing per se, but to touch base with people who may be hurting in any way and provide information about resources. This is such a great program, as many of our seniors do not want to get involved with organizations that they call welfare. I wonder how many years it will take to get rid of that negative that many believe.

Another piece of good news—my wandering daughter who spends her life canoeing and climbing mountains should be here Sunday night for a visit. Iit will be good to see her and enjoy the wonderful experiences she has had. She sure can pack these experiences in, and I only wish I had the energy and her athletic ability. I was a couch potato in my youth.

The volunteers have shown up for the rummage sale, and we have made it a great time. Now we need customers or we will have too much left over.

Now that I have done 15 minutes of physical exercise and this journaling has lightened my spirits, I am off to another day of rummaging.

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