|
Chrissy
Schwarting
A
Personal Journal Reflecting On Aging
June 7 | June 11
June
7: Rising Anxiety Levels
As I arrived at Grandpa's house early this morning, my
aunt Linda told me that Grandpa was up most of the night. She
said he was up about every hour trying to go to the bathroom.
I feel bad when that happens on her night because I know she has
to go to work all day without any sleep. Luckily Grandpa is on
some medication to help him sleep through the night, and so this
doesn't happen very often. Because Grandpa did not get a good
night's sleep, I let him sleep in later than usual this morning.
I actually really enjoy it when he sleeps in later because it
gives me the opportunity to start out my day more relaxed and
I can sit and read the paper.
I noticed that lately his anxiety level is starting to increase again. He
doesn't want to sit still for very long and is really worried
about what is going on down the hallway. Both of us tend to
become a lot more stressed out when his anxiety level increases.
He will tend to follow me around and stare at everything I'm
doing. After a full day of that I begin to feel my anxiety
level increase as well, and I just want him to sit still.
It often feels like I'm dealing with a toddler. I try to find
him activities to do but his attention span does not last
very long and he's too concerned with checking everything
out. I think his most famous saying is, "I have to go
check on something down here. I'll be right back." I
can often hear that several times throughout the day.
June
11: Grandpa Out In Public
I took Grandpa out for a car ride to the bank this
afternoon. It was quite the experience for me. As we approached
a stoplight, Grandpa started to laugh and wave at guy in the
car next to us. He then said to me, "That's my buddy!"
I looked over and the guy was giving us a funny look. I had
no idea who he was and neither did Grandpa.
I was kind of embarrassed and as soon as the light turned
green, I tried to drive ahead of him. Then as we sat in the
car at the bank teller, he again started to laugh and wave
at the guy next to us. I looked over and the guy was looking
down and not even looking at my Grandpa. I turned and said,
"Stop doing that. You don't know that guy." He then
replied, "Oh, I know. I was just trying to have fun with
him."
I always worry about getting embarrassed when I take him out
places. Slowly over time, I don't take him out very much anymore.
We used to go to the grocery store and he'd say weird things
to people or he'd try to pat little kids on the head. I remember
one time when we were walking through Byerly's and all of
a sudden he stopped and started to pat this kid's head while
he was laughing. The boy must have been about 10 years old
he was looking at Grandpa like he was crazy. I had to pull
on my Grandpa's arm and say, "OK, Grandpa. Let's keep
going." I know that people probably know he can't help
it but it's real easy to become embarrassed.
It can also be stressful when I take him out because I'll
never know when he'll have to use the bathroom. We are starting
to have more and more messes in the bathroom at home and the
last thing I need is a mess out at a store. At home he is
supervised every time he goes to use the bathroom. He can
sometimes try to catch his feces when he goes or he might
try to fish it back out of the water and put it in the wastebasket.
I'm also afraid he might forget what a urinal is since we
have a toilet at home and maybe he'd try to go in the sink
or something. I obviously cannot go into the men's restroom
with him.
Journal
Home | Aging Gracefully
Home
| 
© 2025 | Home : Terms of Use : Your Privacy Rights