Chrissy Schwarting
A Personal Journal Reflecting On Aging
June 21 | June 22

	Reflections of Chrissy Schwarting June 7: Rising Anxiety Levels June 11: Grandpa Out In Public June 12: Good Days and Bad Days June 13: A State of Confusion June 14: Talking to the Mirror June 18: Being Spied On June 19: Getting Frustrated June 20: Losing Touch with Reality June 21: More Memory Loss June 22: Grateful For A Half Day Off

June 21: More Memory Loss
The day went pretty good today. Later this evening, I saw that there was an airplane sitting on Grandpa's shoreline of the lake. Since Grandpa used to do a lot of flying back in his younger years, I thought he might like to go down and take a look at it. He can no longer go down stairs very easily so I chose instead to bring him around the front of the house and down the side to get to his back yard. He did pretty good walking, but needed me to hold his hand to help keep him steady.

As we were walking down to the water he kept complaining about the cold air. I tried to get him excited about looking at the airplane but he didn't seem to care too much. As we got down to the shoreline, our next-door neighbor came over and I asked him if he knew the owner of the plane. He said no, that he thought it was someone we knew. I kind of started laughing because it was strange to have an airplane at the end of Grandpa's yard and we didn't know who owned it. I kept pointing to the airplane to try to get Grandpa to look at it but he wasn't interested. I can't help but wonder if he can't remember he used to fly them. About five minutes later, another neighbor came walking over along with the owner of the airplane. He apologized for parking it there and I told him it was no problem since we never come down to the water anymore anyway. I told him the only reason why we came down was to take a look at it because Grandpa used to fly a lot back in his day.

The pilot looked at Grandpa and said, "Oh, yeah. What did you fly?" I could tell Grandpa was confused and he finally said, "What's all this now?" So I told the pilot that Grandpa had Alzheimer's disease and he forgets. I feel bad having to say that sometimes because I don't want to embarrass Grandpa. At the same time however, some people may not understand why he says the things he does. He actually did it again with the neighbor's kids. They (a girl and a boy) were playing in the water one yard over. Their dad was over talking to us and was keeping a close eye on them but Grandpa didn't realize this. He kept interrupting the conversation by saying, "Look at those kids over there. Nobody's even watching them." Grandpa said it twice before the neighbor finally said, "Those are my kids." Grandpa still did not understand so he repeated it two more times. I finally had to keep telling him that they were OK and they were being watched. It was kind of embarrassing for me.

June 22: Grateful for A Half Day Off
Grandpa took a nice long nap at about 11:00 a.m. today. Which was nice for me because I was able to relax and sit outside on the deck for a while. I made sure to sit in a place where I can see him through the windows. I have to make sure that I can see him when he gets up. I also have to make sure he doesn't lock me out of the house. He did that once before when I was out on the deck fixing something. The wind was strong at the time so I couldn't hear him shutting and locking the patio door. When it came time to go back inside, I had to keep pounding on the door until he finally heard me and let me back in. Luckily he remembered how to unlock the door. Knowing my luck, he'd remember how to lock it but forget how to unlock it.

I worry about that happening with the front doors as well. He locked me out of the front door just the other day. I went around the front of the house to look at a rabbit that was missing part of his ear and when I came back, Grandpa had shut and locked the door. I was probably outside for less than two minutes. That's how quick he is to lock me out. It's kind of humorous but dangerous as well if he can't figure out how to open it back up. I'd have no other way of getting inside.

Today was also a short day for me because the respite volunteers, Marianne and Ron Cook, came over for a few hours. They have been helping me out for close to four years now. They will come over about once a week and stay with Grandpa for three hours so that I can have a break. They help me when I need to go to the doctor or have another type of appointment and I have no other way of having the time off. Usually they will come to Grandpa's at 1:30 pm and then my aunt will come at 4:30 pm. That way, I don't have to come back and I can have half the day off. I am forever grateful to have them.

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