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Chrissy
Schwarting
A
Personal Journal Reflecting On Aging
June 14 | June 18
June
14: Talking to the Mirror
We finally got our air conditioner installed. The workers
were making a lot of noise in the basement, so Grandpa kept asking
over and over again what they were doing. It was kind of funny
because at one point he started to spy on them. He was standing
at the top of the stairs and peeking around the corner. Anytime
Grandpa thought they could see him, he'd pull away. I was watching
the whole thing from the kitchen table. I started to laugh a little
and said, "Are you spying on them?" He moved his head
again so they couldn't see him and replied, "Sshh, I'm looking
down at them." It took them about an hour to complete the
job and then I could finally cool the house down with the windows
shut. I was happy and so was Grandpa.
For about the last six months Grandpa has started to talk
to himself in the mirror. He'll see himself in the reflection
but for some reason he thinks that it's another guy. Sometimes
I'll walk by his room and he'll be talking like crazy to himself
in the mirror. Today he went to the bathroom and after he
was done, he again started to talk to himself in the mirror.
I asked him if everything was OK and opened the door. He replied,
"Oh yeah. I'm just talking to my buddy here. I'll be
out in a minute." So I shut the door and listened to
him from the outside. He kept talking and talking. At the
end of his conversation he says, "Well, I better go out
there now. I think they're looking for me. I'll see ya later."
I could also hear him laughing at himself. It's very sad that
he no longer recognizes himself but at least he has someone
else to talk to.
June
18: Being Spied On
My day with Grandpa went pretty good. I have a lot of other stuff going on in my life right now and it creates added stress when I'm at Grandpa's. He was really antsy this morning but luckily took a nap this afternoon. As soon as he got out of bed he was pacing throughout the house. I had to tell him to come and sit down to relax for a while. He was also a little bit more confused today. I took him for a car ride to the store and when we got home I had to convince him to come into the house. He forgets that he lives there and he didn't want to get out of the car.
Once we finally got inside, he kept following me around the house. I was checking the answering machine in the back bedroom and I could hear the floor creaking nonstop right outside the door. I could tell he was trying to spy on me. I finally asked him as I was coming around the corner, "What are you doing Grandpa?" It was kind of humorous because he quickly tried to take off down the hall so that I couldn't see him. So then I asked him, "Are you spying on me?" He didn't really answer and so I continued to go into the kitchen where he proceeded to follow me as well.
At least he doesn't get quite as angry as he used to get. Having him on some good medication really helps. We did go through some spells in the past where he would get angry very easily.
I know that, as much as he frustrates me now, that I will really miss him one day.
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